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I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:31 pm
by Snowbat
So lets say, hypothetically, there is a girl you have a crush on that frequents the same gym as you. And you know, you chat together in a friendly way, you get to know her a bit better but you decide not to wait for too long and at some point in the future (hasn't happened yet) ask her out. For a girl, this is usually the signal that the guy is attracted to her.
At that point, you'll either get a yes or a no. Imagine she says no and thus rejects you.

Isn't that going to make things very awkward if you both continue to frequent the same gym? If she notices you don't initiate conversation with her any more after rejection, won't she think you were chatty with her previously just to hit on her? I'm asking because, well, I personally don't want to be just her platonic male friend if I have feelings for her. If she says no, I prefer to just move on and not be in that dreaded "just friends" bull****. I've been that for long enough with me previous crush and it feels like ****.

What? Me? A crush on a girl? Pff noooo. What makes you.... nooo. NEIN.

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 5:43 pm
by re# Skilgannon
Ask her out for a casual drink, not a date, talk to each other and you will either click or not. I once had a massive crush on some one but when I had got to know him better I realised he just wasn't my type

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 6:18 pm
by Seraphina
So, what you're saying is, you actually ARE talking to her just to hit on her because if she says no you're not interested in her any more.
Of course not talking to her if you get rejected will be awkward but if you would keep talking to her you will still only be casual acquaintances which is what you are now anyway.
So you'd say hi, make small talk and that's it. That's not the friendzone and should be doable.
If you worry what she thinks about you even after you got rejected, then maybe you should show her that you're not that kinda person.

Anyway, if you go into it expecting rejection, the chances that that's what you'll get are quite high.
Confidence can make a massive difference.

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:00 pm
by Enigma
Just kiss her next time you see her. If she doesn't try to fight back you won, if she slaps you you got friendzoned again. Ez.

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:16 pm
by Silkie
I'm never sure in cases like this if I should give advice or not coming as I do from an older generation and wondering if things have changed so much now that any advice might be useless. Still I'd say are you actually flirting with her? Is it a lost art? Most guys of my generation used to go with flirting and see how she responds and particularly flirting back especially with any deliberate friendly touching on the hands or arms. This always used to be the sign a woman might be interested in being more than friends but things seem so tense these days.

Frankly I don't get the 'friendzone' thing but I never discount a chance to widen my circle of friends so don't see what's so bad about it. Mind you even today with a drink inside me I'll flirt with anything with a pulse over the age of consent of course. They need to introduce flirting courses into colleges IMHO as frankly it's fun, free and a necessary skill for all the nicer bits of life.

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:03 pm
by re# Skilgannon
if I could "like" your post I would!

Flirting seems to be a lost art these days!

I blame the internets ;)

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:10 pm
by rgslane the trackpad
Enigma wrote:Just kiss her next time you see her. If she doesn't try to fight back you won, if she slaps you you got friendzoned again. Ez.



tried and true
sent from my prison-issue ipad

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:40 pm
by Aceo
rgslane the trackpad wrote:
Enigma wrote:Just kiss her next time you see her. If she doesn't try to fight back you won, if she slaps you you got friendzoned again. Ez.



tried and true
sent from my prison-issue ipad


Don't try this. Definitely harassment to just try kissing someone outside of a romantic/casual scene. Going to the gym, you shouldn't have to try and avoid being kissed.

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:32 pm
by Blast
A drink or lunch are great places to start! keep it casual, get to know her better and see where things go from there :D

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:27 am
by Cotillion
Casual drink is the best way to go any further i think. If you ask her for lunch or something would be great and you notice probably soon enough if she see's it as a date... or that you are friendzoned...

Re: I need an opinion on this

PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 12:20 am
by Little_Devil
Skilgannon first suggestion for a first contact mission :P

Then make it a regular thing if she is willing, you will soon get to know whether either you or she will want to take it to the next level, as in going out. :)