/cringe

Tell us your favorite jokes, or just show us the funny link you've found!

/cringe

Postby Dancing Hippo on Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:48 am

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and
he said 'You've been promoted.'

And I swerved.

And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted
again.' And I swerved again.

He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.'

And I went into a tree.

And a policeman came up and said

What happened to you?'

And I said 'I careered off the road.'

BAH DUM TSH.
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Postby Flawless on Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:48 am

looooool :)
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Postby Blast on Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:51 am

hahaha oh god =P
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Postby Kane on Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:45 am

Lol

Its not true is it?

xD
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Postby SupaSharpShoota on Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:16 am

**groan**


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Postby .Execute on Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:06 pm

Lol :P
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Postby Sc(x)ttish Duck Hunter on Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:17 pm

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Image Image Imma rockin dat shit
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Postby Mr Frosty on Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:45 pm

I used to work in a butchers, my boss bet me 20 quid that I couldnt reach the beef on the top shelf.

I had to decline, the steaks were too high.


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Postby Trev on Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:59 pm

should we rename this "time vine jokes"?
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Postby Silent Image on Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:10 pm

Silentimage after reading above joke:
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Postby Master Yoda on Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:46 pm

Rofl, i love these jokes .. :D
shotz: i rish u cant
Well spoken shotz, very well spoken.
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Postby -=RoB=- on Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:56 pm

:roll: next.
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Postby bokkie on Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:04 pm

this one is dedicated to sats

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Postby Dancing Hippo on Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:21 pm

I woke up this morning to a tap on my door.

Funny sense of humour my plumber has.
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Postby Who Am I? on Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:36 pm

rofl hippo!
and mclovin, that was hilarious!


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Postby meyenburg on Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:29 am

lol, love it mclovin :lol:
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Postby Dancing Hippo on Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:51 am

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "

"No, because he's really heavy"



Argh
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Postby meyenburg on Sat Feb 16, 2008 1:55 am

That joke was SO LAME, that it got hilarious tbh :lol:
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Postby .Execute on Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:02 am

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

:D
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Postby Blast on Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:27 am

/suicide
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