/cringe

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Re: /cringe

Postby GazNET on Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:48 pm

Wizav wrote:I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!


:lol:
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Re: /cringe

Postby Nish on Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:28 pm

Why did the Hipster burn his tongue while eating a Pizza?

...

He ate it before it was cool.
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Re: /cringe

Postby MotsMan on Wed Dec 14, 2011 4:36 pm

Oh dear nish.... D:
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Re: /cringe

Postby EvolvedMonkey on Wed Jan 11, 2012 3:36 pm

Craig David has been selected to captain the Olympics GBR archery team. Apparently he is going to be the bow selector.
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Re: /cringe

Postby ApacheFlame on Wed Jan 11, 2012 4:45 pm

*facepalm*
The Programmers Mantra: Declare Variables, not War.

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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:29 pm

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.


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Re: /cringe

Postby Gh0st.IRE on Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:00 am

Oh no... :cheers:
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Re: /cringe

Postby heuji on Tue Feb 07, 2012 10:12 am

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☁ every cloud has a silver lining, it's called rain! ☁
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Re: /cringe

Postby EvolvedMonkey on Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:11 am

My mate packed in his job at McDonalds. He couldn't take it any more. He said the boss was a clown.
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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:23 pm

I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.

"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"

"Yesterday?" I replied.


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Re: /cringe

Postby GazNET on Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:12 pm

:lol:
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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Wed May 02, 2012 1:09 am

My sexy neighbour has left her curtains open slightly, so I'm watching her masturbate with my telescope.

I can't see very well, though. If only I had my telescope.

:cheers:


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Re: /cringe

Postby Seany on Wed May 09, 2012 8:48 pm

I asked a welsh farmer how many sexual partners he'd had. As he was counting he fell asleep.
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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Mon Aug 20, 2012 2:02 am

Belarusian shot put gold medallist Nadzeya Ostapchuk has tested positive for a banned substance.

Testicles.


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Re: /cringe

Postby SpAZzY on Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:33 pm

-____________-''
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Re: /cringe

Postby CiRuS on Sat Sep 14, 2013 8:27 am

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were
in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic,
the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the
captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.
Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were
repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels
sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm
as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was
on, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding
parties,although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting
the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked,
"Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give,
exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the
wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."
The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn
came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships,
10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent
and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The
Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!
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Re: /cringe

Postby Who Am I? on Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:39 pm

Haha :), no cringe though. Nice to see this thread again!
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