/cringe

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Re: /cringe

Postby G3!ST on Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:26 pm

wow
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Re: /cringe

Postby Useless² on Mon Jun 20, 2011 4:54 pm

When my wife said she was leaving me for my obsession with Health and Safety, I said "dont let the door hit you on the way out"
God gave me wind and waves...

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...Everything else I can buy
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Re: /cringe

Postby Dr Gonzo on Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:04 am

I saw a sign on a door today that made me piss myself.



'Toilet Closed'

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please watch my erotic video...many thanks!
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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:20 am

Stephen Hawking has admitted that, if in great pain, he may consider assisted suicide.

Or "Task Manager", as he calls it.


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Re: /cringe

Postby windowmaker on Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:53 pm

I was walking out of a club last night and a woman came up to me, put her hand down my pants, grabbed my member and said "so, yours or mine?"

I said "I'm pretty sure that's mine, love."


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Re: /cringe

Postby BenJy! on Tue Nov 22, 2011 6:53 pm

Mr Cadbury met Mss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he replied. He touched her Creme Eggs and slipped his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy centre. But 3 days later his sherbert dib-dab started to itch.Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got Allsorts!
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Re: /cringe

Postby Arbor plena simia on Tue Nov 22, 2011 6:55 pm

Hahahaha :D
Good stuff BenJy :P
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Re: /cringe

Postby EvolvedMonkey on Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:35 am

I used to be really good at reminiscing.


...ahh those were the days.
But I'm feeling good, And if you don't exist, you're still one illusion that I can't resist
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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:29 pm

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!


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Re: /cringe

Postby Wombat on Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:46 am

Wizav wrote:I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!


:D
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Re: /cringe

Postby GazNET on Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:48 pm

Wizav wrote:I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!


:lol:
Sector Clear!
www.gaznet.com
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Re: /cringe

Postby Nish on Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:28 pm

Why did the Hipster burn his tongue while eating a Pizza?

...

He ate it before it was cool.
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Re: /cringe

Postby MotsMan on Wed Dec 14, 2011 4:36 pm

Oh dear nish.... D:
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Re: /cringe

Postby EvolvedMonkey on Wed Jan 11, 2012 3:36 pm

Craig David has been selected to captain the Olympics GBR archery team. Apparently he is going to be the bow selector.
But I'm feeling good, And if you don't exist, you're still one illusion that I can't resist
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Re: /cringe

Postby ApacheFlame on Wed Jan 11, 2012 4:45 pm

*facepalm*
The Programmers Mantra: Declare Variables, not War.

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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:29 pm

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.


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Re: /cringe

Postby Gh0st.IRE on Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:00 am

Oh no... :cheers:
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Re: /cringe

Postby heuji on Tue Feb 07, 2012 10:12 am

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☁ every cloud has a silver lining, it's called rain! ☁
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Re: /cringe

Postby EvolvedMonkey on Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:11 am

My mate packed in his job at McDonalds. He couldn't take it any more. He said the boss was a clown.
But I'm feeling good, And if you don't exist, you're still one illusion that I can't resist
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Re: /cringe

Postby Wizav on Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:23 pm

I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.

"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"

"Yesterday?" I replied.


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