Be more dog the advert with the naff CGI cat said.
OK I’ll give it a try I thought so for a week I tried to be more dog.
I chased the postwoman down the path and sank my teeth into her bum, peed up every lamppost in the area, dug up the neighbours petunias, sniffed complete strangers crotches, chased the milkman’s float up the road, drooled on people’s hands, licked a police officer’s face, shed on the carpet and shat in the middle of a public footpath.
Oddly enough it hasn’t greatly improved my life in the slightest bit but I did get to meet lots of new people. Mainly those emerging from cars with flashing blue lights and carrying tasers.
The lawyer who represented me says with good behavior I should be out in six months but only after a psychiatric review.
Woof. Also I think I may have dislocated a shoulder trying to clean myself.